so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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