You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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