I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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