i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
