She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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