Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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