I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
