I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
