how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
