u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
