WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
These tits shall not be calmed
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
