yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
