my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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