I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
