Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
