it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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