Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize