i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
