i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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