So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
