brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
