No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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