A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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