Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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