i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
