Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
