just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
