We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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