Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
