Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize