I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize