I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
