Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
