he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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