it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
