Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You took a bar mat shot.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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