Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
