Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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