we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
