I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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