you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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