I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
