This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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