Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I AM VODKA MAN
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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