Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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