Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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