Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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