I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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