ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
