these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
