His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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