I'm really into asian looking animals
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
