Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
