I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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