i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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