I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
