You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
