Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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