if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize