alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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