His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
