Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
